Perry the Penguin once again sees shadow; another long winter ahead.
Source: The Penguin Journal
ONTARIO, Canada – August is barely upon us and if you’re like most North Americans, particularly those in Canada and northern parts of the United States, you’re in the midst of enjoying the hot summer months, perhaps taking some vacation days to spend some time at your summer cottage, or travelling to the coast to soak up some sun by the Oceanside. Regardless of what you’re doing, you’re happy about one thing: it’s not winter. The word snow is not yet in your vocabulary. You’re not even beginning to dread the icy temperatures, cold winds, and mountains of snow that will be upon you in only a few short months. Winter is still at the back of your mind, and while this has likely given you comfort while you sip your fruity iced drink atop a floaty chair under the burning sun, Perry the weather predicting Penguin brought us all back to reality today when he walked out of his fifth-floor walk-up studio apartment only to once again see his shadow.
The Penguin Day shadow viewing, much like that on Groundhog Day, has become a tradition in many parts of the world and dates back to well before the fourteenth century. The tradition is said to be as accurate as the predictions from the meteorologists that we have all learned to care for and trust on broadcasting channels such as The Weather Network. Unlike Groundhog Day, which predicts whether or not not the winter months will persist, Penguin Day predicts how early and how treacherous the upcoming winter months will be. If Perry sees his shadow, you should expect a rough winter ahead, if he doesn’t, you might not see a winter at all.
“He’s like a bad luck charm. He sees his shadow every year without fail. Do you remember when we just never had winter? I certainly don’t. Someone just isn’t doing their job.” said an angry spectator outside of the penguins home. “I was hopeful this year that it would be different. My family and I drove three hours to see this. Guess I’ll be getting out my tuque. “
While some meteorologists argue that a penguin cannot be responsible for whether or not the sun decides to shine on July 27th every year, others have speculated that perhaps Perry is in cahoots, and have even suggested he step down.
When asked to comment on why he thinks he saw his shadow, Perry responded with, “because weather,” and allegedly proceeded to hashtag yolo.
Sources close to Perry say that the pressures of his job have been hard on him and his family, and led to a serious krill sniffing addiction in the early 2000’s causing a short stint in rehab thereafter. He has been clean since, but he has been quoted as saying that he hopes that the world will “get off his back about it, and let him penguin how he wants to penguin.”